Loneliness of the ” Career Woman” and Homoeopathy
Reema and Nisha were close friends since college. Nisha clears competitive exams and gets a good Government job and Reema moves from one Town to another Town following her husband who is in transferable job. But this did not make any difference in their friendship. Due to the revolution in the field of telecommunication, the range of their friendship was also preserved due to mobile phones. But Reema was always jealous of Nisha. Getting ready for Nisha’s up-to-date, ‘posting’ on social media about getting a promotion, photos of visits to different places while on tour…….how much fun ! Reema had nothing of her own to ‘share’. Nisha used to listen quietly and stay silent.
Once Reema was talking to Nisha about the same issue and yesterday’s incident flashed before Nisha’s eyes. After coming from office, she saw Aryan playing. She was filled with love and quickly tried to take her little one in her arms. But in the midst of play, he freed himself from his Mother’s embrace and ran away to play. After he came back from playing, she made him do ‘homework’. He cried because he didn’t want to study. After finally finishing his studies, he ran to his Grandmother. Ate watching TV. He slept there after hearing the story from his Grandmother. In the morning, Nisha used to rush between getting him up and sending him to school and preparing her own office. In all this, Aryan used to get angry with his Mother as an “Angry Mother”, a ‘Mother who made him study’.All his love went to his Grandmother. When Nisha is worried, can Reema understand the fear of being away from Child being alone?……
Most of the time working women have to be very strict in getting their children to study, discipline them, send them to school on time. There is not enough time to show (Maya)Love-Pampering. Therefore, the children see the strictness of the Mother every day. They are not yet aware enough to understand her feelings of Loneliness.
Just like a Toy Top sometimes here, sometimes there, spinning moves on one leg, a working woman goes from home to office in the morning, office till evening and back home again for years. The storm itself will continue to move in at a slower and slower pace through the weekend.
It doesn’t keep quiet without constantly working & doing something. Nothing can be experienced comfortably, calmly. So the energy of the Toy Top spinning finally runs out and it stops, at one point even a working woman has to say ‘It will not happen from me now’. But no one in the family who is busy with their daily schedule can hear her voice. And she realizes that there is no one to hear her voice. From that, the seeds of loneliness start to take root in her Mind.
Another patient of mine named Megha was in an information technology company. She managed her career graph well. She used to look sad while doing this. Her son was now in 10th standard. She got very angry after he got very low marks in 9th standard. He abruptly & rudely told her, “Don’t say anything, Mother ! Do you ever have time to help me in my studies ? Look at the other Mother’s help in studying their children….”
The mother-in-law, who was chanting on the side, added to it and said, “You have to do the job, Megha; but first, the house, child, that is your duty. DO work a little less.”
Eight to nine hours are insufficient when working in ‘IT’ sector. Where is the opportunity to do less work in it !
But even telling this to the mother-in-law was not acceptable. Her son was blaming her for his failure today. The mother-in-law was showing the displeasure of the family as the spokesperson of the family.
She began to feel that the whole world was against her and that she was fighting alone on one end. But she did not understand Why and with Whom she was fighting so much. After working hard for life, it was only getting worse.
Now the generation in their 40s finds it hard to say ‘I can’t’ or ‘I can’t’ at the workplace. Accordingly, the 20 to 25-year-old generation is adept at ‘Work Life Balance’ – Balancing Work and Personal Life. Especially, often seniors do not dare to speak to them.
Megha had to learn to achieve this ‘Work Life Balance’. She should be able to tell her the current needs of your personal life firmly in the office. On the other hand, even if the boy accuses angrily, it is worth noting that he wants his Mother !
It is wrong to expect that we can manage all the work of a full-time housewife, office, children’s studies without effort. Even women know this. Now they don’t have the ability to be ‘Super-woman’ like before. But over the past ten to fifteen years, workplace stress and working hours have been increasing. Because of this, they are also helpless.
If the contribution of housewives to the household is the time and effort they put into the household, then it is not fair to compare them with housewives, considering that women in business bring in money for the household. The family and relatives also have to be aware of this. Their hard work should be appreciated from time to time. The main thing is that the feeling of ‘someone who will understand me’ will be revived and eventually they will feel less Alone and Lonely.
Another patient of mine who worked in a bank was telling me, “After working for so many years, I feel like something is missing and out of my hands……..feeling very lonely. I don’t feel ‘connected’ to anyone. I asked her, “What does she want and what she would feel better doing.” She said, “Perhaps she would feel better just sitting still, being inactive.” I asked, “Then what’s the problem?” She said, “Nobody frees me.” Do not leave ! Festivals, illness, visitors end my leave. I don’t have time to just sit and think about something.
I said, “You know what you want but you are not turning around ! You have been facing the same situation continuously for many years. But it is necessary to do the ‘Processing’ of what you felt in that situation, what emotions you experienced.
If there is a fight between a Colleague, then we think with a cool head and decide that, let it go ! Let’s forget what happened. Sometimes it happens… How many times he has come to help. This is called ‘Processing’. Then the stress of that event leaves the Mind.
You have to sit idly to think about such a situation. There are many such stories that are stuck in the Mind and need to be concluded. When such a mountain of unprocessed Emotions accumulates, your head becomes confused, your eyes water, how can you connect with others when you are not connected with yourself ?
The patient felt ‘like Eureka’.
She said, ‘It’s true! The ‘I’ in me is lost and needs to be found.
We should understand that not everyone can do everything well. I feel lonely because I feel that no relationship can be justified when my head is messed up’.
In such a situation, we don’t always need to take a vacation and go somewhere to communicate with ourselves. Before going to bed or waking up ten minutes early during the day, you should take time to talk to yourself, but this is for sure !
The situation is different for women who are transferred every two to three years. As long as the child is small or both husband and wife have Government jobs, they can be transferred together and at least the family can be with them in the place of transfer.
But when a single woman holds a high position in a Government job, she keeps getting transferred. She and her families would have accepted all this. Authority, power, money may be enough in the beginning, but living alone in the given quarters every day is terrible. The day is spent in work. But even with the responsibilities of children and husband, it is difficult for them to live a daily life like a ‘Bachelor’. After getting out of the burden of work, like other Mothers, they want to hear the chirping of their children, they want to feed them ! Every time it is challenging to go to a new office, meet new people, understand the politics there and ‘fit’ in it.
A working-business woman faces many work-related problems. Often her ‘social connect’ decreases while doing home and work-business. Whether it is going to relatives or being in touch with friends, the feeling that ‘her job is more important’, then the distance from her own people, makes the woman feel lonely.
All the patients in the above example were able to communicate with themselves after being given the Homoeopathic Medicine.
She started taking precautions so that she does not get lost in her schedule.
It became possible for them to do ‘Processing’. The feeling of “I have no one at home to understand me”, stopped reoccurring.
The feeling of being alone and a “Lonely” was completely gone.
The feeling of missing something, escaping, not being able to connect with anyone was gone.
It is understood that it is not possible to attend every function of relatives. At least they were satisfied that they could keep in touch by phone. That means they started to be connected with everyone by giving due justice to other relations.
It meant that they had to stay connected with everyone while giving due justice to other relationships. Their “Social Connect” was decreasing, but the regret about it had faded from their hearts.
to ignore what they have to hear about our growing alienation from others because of the perception of others.
The alchemy of Homoeopathy that alleviated the loneliness of the “Career Woman” made possible the balance between them.